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Micky Shittyboots from Mayobridge was taking in his cattle for the evening when a neighbour overheard him using unspeakable racialist words to the black cattle among his herd.

One local told Newry Spud: […] A ‘prehistoric’ civilisation has been discovered this morning in south Down scientists have claimed.

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The 26 year-old Beg woman who had previously lost her virginity after a drink fuelled bender several years ago said she’s ‘blessed’ to have found her much coveted virginity.Lisa Messy Shite whose busy and privileged lifestyle makes it impossible for her to clean and pick the expensive clothes up from off her bedroom floor said she was […] The sleepy Lisbane Park in Mayobridge is to become Ireland’s first legal Red Light District the Newry, Mourne & Down District council said today.The area will see prostitutes being able to ply their trade ‘in or around Lisbane Park’ from 8pm to 3am 7 days a week without fear of arrest or prosecution.SDLP’s […] Dublin UFC star Conor Mc Gregor has said he will take up a position as a sales assistant in the Monaghan Street based Mc Parland’s hardware store.The shock career change comes after Mc Gregor was comprehensively beaten by Russian Khabib Nurmagomedov.

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